Saturday, July 26, 2008

ramblings..(i am a lousy post titler)

My phone is getting cranky. Some of my frens have said they cun get through to me, or i only get msgs a few hrs later after they sent it out. Due to this, I was unable to meet up with Gerald as his msg din get to me. Blast my stupid handphone.

Met up with Lance yesterday, haven seen him since this year. He din change at all le. Had lunch at Plaza Sing then we walked ard the shops. Plaza Sing holds some fond memories for me...which I shall not comment on.

Just now on msn, a close fren of mine expressed shock that I would be meeting up with Secret after all. I was previously advised by a few close frens of mine to just cancel off the meeting. After all the hurt he had done me, now he is pretending nothing happened at all? And I have to go along with it?

I thought abt it. For one thing, I dislike confrontations or conflicts of any sort. If he is happy where he is now, why shd I bring him on a guilt trip? It wun serve anything...and I would hate myself for making him lose his smile. So there...I much rather prefer him to be happy. I will control, everything will be fine.

And its weird. Sometimes I would get this feeling that a certain fren is in trouble, and when I went on to contact them and ask, the answer most invariably is they are "ok". And from my side, the feeling emanating from them sometimes overwhelms me and is so strong that i can smell it. its like, the smell of trouble. Am I making any sense here?

Two of my ex contacted me recently. Not sure what they are up to. I replied to one and not the other. Actually doesn't really matter to me. I dun think we can be frens anyway.

Just now in living room feeding baby milk n burping her. She is now still in living room playing and squealing loudly..as can be seen from the pics below...









all I can say is, walau eh...

Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: WHITE: The Peace Keeper


Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.


WHITE MOTIVE: PEACE


WHITE NEEDS: To feel good (inside), To be allowed their own space, To be respected, Tolerance.


WHITE WANTS: To withhold insecurities, Kindness, Independence, Contentment.


SUMMARY: Whites are motivated by peace. They will do almost anythign to avoid confrontation. They like to flow through life without hassle or discomfort. Feeling good is even more important to them then being good. Whites need kindness. They resent being scolded. They dislike harsh words. They open up instantly to people who are kind, but Whites recoil from those who are hostile. Whites prefer quiet strength. they enjoy thier quiet independence. This can often be percieved as bullheadedness. Whites like to keep a low profile. They like to be asked their opinions but they won't volunteer them. Whites are independent. Unlike Reds and Blues who want to control others, Whites seek only to avoid being controlled. They don't like to be pushed, and they can be fearsome when they finally "blow up." Whites are motivated by other peoples desires. They want suggestions however, not demands.

Take The Color Code Test at HelloQuizzy





Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence



You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view.

A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.



You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.






You Are Lightning



Beautiful yet dangerous

People will stop and watch you when you appear

Even though you're capable of random violence



You are best known for: your power



Your dominant state: performing






The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic



Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.

But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.



Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski






You Are a Black and White Cookie



You're often conflicted in life, and you feel pulled in two opposite directions.

When you're good, you're sweet as sugar. And when you're bad, you're wicked!






You Are a Coy Flirt



You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing.

You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing.

Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal.

A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession.





What Your Sleeping Position Says



You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.

Shy and private, you yearn for security.

You take relationships slowly.

You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.



If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Cranky and a big baby



It's hard to sleep next to you because: You are a light sleeper





Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage



You've dated enough to know what you want.

And that's marriage - with the right person.

You're serious about settling down some time soon.

Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!





How You Life Your Life



You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.

You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.

You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.






You Are a Blue Flower



A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.

At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.

And at other times, you are wise like an iris.

And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.






People Envy Your Compassion



You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.

People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.






You Are A Little Scared of Commitment



You're open to getting serious with someone... though you can't entirely imagine it.

Maybe you haven't met the right person. Maybe you haven't gotten to the right point in your life.



Your reaction to commitment is very normal - especially if you're young or have been burned before.

Give it time. You'll probably be ready for a serious relationship sooner than you think.






Your Birth Month is July



Introspective and intense, you tend to be a deep thinker.

You are quiet and spiritual - and you have a unique perspective on life.



Your soul reflects: Lightness, luck and an open heart



Your gemstone: Ruby



Your flower: Larkspur



Your colors: Green and red






You're an Passionate Kisser



For you, kissing is about all about following your urges

If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story

You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses

A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Thursday, July 24, 2008

How Do I Love Thee?

Another fave of mine.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806-1861

Death is nothing at all

Can't sleep. Was reading "After The Darkest Hour" on my bed. I can't seem to finish the book..can't seem to finish a chapter without sniffing. Therefore, I shall take a break again and cheer myself up with some poems.

Below is one of my favourite poems, it was a year back when I came across it. To my XXX. My head hurts. And my throat too. Hope I am not coming down with a sore throat.

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

My Johari Window

A little information abt Johari Window:

It's one of the most useful models describing the process of human interaction.

a. Arena, also termed as "open" window pane, represents things that both I know about myself, and that you know about me. It can include factual information, my feelings, motives, behaviors, wants, needs and desires, etc.

b.
The "blind" window pane represents things that you know about me, but that I am unaware of. This enables you to learn more about yourself and how others perceive you.

c. Facade, also termed as "hidden" window pane, represents things that I know about myself, that you do not know. Any information that is not known to others except myself. So the more open a person is, the smaller area this window covers.

d. Lastly, the "unknown" window pane represents things that neither I know about myself, nor you know about me. But being placed in new situations might reveal new information not previously known to self or others. Therefore, previously unknown information when revealed, can shift to the other windows, narrowing the area this covers.

Below is just an example of my Jorhari Window. You can create your own window as well. Alternatively, you can contribute to mine.

Arena

(known to self and others)

idealistic, patient, reflective, sentimental, spontaneous

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, caring, cheerful, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, independent, intelligent, kind, loving, modest, religious, responsive, searching, self-conscious, sensible, shy, silly, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm

Façade

(known only to self)

Unknown

(known to nobody)

adaptable, bold, brave, calm, clever, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, ingenious, introverted, knowledgeable, logical, mature, nervous, observant, organised, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, self-assertive, tense, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

53% of people think that callisto is friendly
53% of people agree that callisto is sentimental

All Percentages

able (7%) accepting (15%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (15%) cheerful (46%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (7%) extroverted (30%) friendly (53%) giving (30%) happy (7%) helpful (15%) idealistic (23%) independent (7%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (7%) introverted (0%) kind (38%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (46%) mature (0%) modest (7%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (7%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (7%) relaxed (0%) religious (7%) responsive (7%) searching (15%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (7%) sensible (7%) sentimental (53%) shy (7%) silly (23%) spontaneous (7%) sympathetic (7%) tense (0%) trustworthy (15%) warm (15%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 24.7.2008, using data from 13 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view callisto's full data.

Ferris wheel


Took this pic when I was at the new downtown east mall. Bright lights, bright lights, carnival-like.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bd celebration...~~a late report~~

Sun- Its the day before my bd. Sick as ever. Previously had thought of booking a hotel room or chalet over the wkend, but it was scraped off due to differing opinions. By right, I was supposed to be having crabs(yummy yummy) in JB as a bd treat with my family the day before. But I had to rest at hme instead, no energy to go out..

So the bd treat shifted to today for lunch. I choose Breeks at Causeway point. Cun remember much of what we ate, but we da bao the rest cos cannot finish...courtesy of my mum who dun like to waste food. My mum n sis went on to watch a movie while I went back home to gather my strength.

Then attended Carrie's bbq organised by her cellgroup cos had alry promised her beforehand that I will go.

Was so shagged...All I can remember eating is a chicken wing cooked especially by Carrie and a hot dog. Oh, and a banana as well. The rest is just nibbling here and there. Had no appetite. Was pleasantly surprised when towards the later part, they whipped up a bd cake which heck I din even noticed until they announced it. And so I had my first bd song....and made my 1st and only bd wish of the year. But so far, none of my bd wishes ever came true, except for that 21st bd... (which involves a bouquet of flowers, and a guy I was secretly crushing on, but..that's another story)

Pics taken at the bbq...thanks to Carrie for her shawl and her cellgroup members...



The bd present frm Carrie....

After that, we took a cab back home. Then I went on to puke in the toilet bowl. Its the bbq smell, I think. Logged into msn...and exactly at midnight(according to him, its at the stroke of midnight, but my clock says 11.59 haha), Secret sent me a bd sms on my msn and hp. I was surprised, happy and touched. Other frens went on to send me bd greetings..thanks to everyone of you who remembered :) ..but he was the first. Guess he had a short term memory and forgotten that the last meet-up ended on a bad, bad note. More likely he had selective memory retention.

He suggested treating me to a bd dinner on Mon or Tues, but wanted me to rest since I am sick and to meet on Fri instead. Din tell him I was going out for dinner anyway..without him. Fact is, I neither habour resentment nor malice to him. Just sometimes irritated n pissed when images of him pop up in my mind like a pesky fly for no reason. Not seeing him was the most sensible thing to do, considering I have not yet mastered the art of indifference. Well...I supposed I can afford to put on an act for a day.

Mon- Met up with Keri, Carrie, Kathy and Kennedy for dinner at Shokudo, then Starbucks for drinks. I had only ask a few people, but in any case, some of them couldn't make it at the last min as they got held up by work. Appreciated the gals who came. And Kennedy is a true fren who has always treated me much better than I do to him. Will give him a big bd present when his turn comes.


















Kennedy drove me n Carrie home after that. My family will be waiting for me at home with a birthday cake, as they do every year. However when I reached home, the cake had not yet arrived as my brother was stuck in a traffic jam from JB. So we waited...and waited..n I took some pics of myself to alleviate the boredom...

Birth certificate for teddy..Kennedy bought him at Build-A-Bear Workshop....





And a pic of baby...

My dear bro finally arrived with the bd cake, but it was alry 12.30am. And my bd has passed..oops... Heck it, they still sang the bd song and I still got to cut my cake.





And so it is, just like I thought it would be.