It's such a terrific surprise. There I am, just coming down from my office and about to cross the road. Then I heard a voice behind me utter my name. I turned back and it's him! I was so stunned....it's 9pm at nite and I was just reaching into my bag to look for my handphone and give him a call. And there he was, right in front of me. He was actually waiting downstairs for me, oh gosh!
Ten minutes later as we were reaching the mrt station hand-in-hand, I was still shell-shocked. It's extremely sweet, because we are supposed to be meeting tomorrow anyway and he has to wake up early in the morning. I really didn't expect that...although I did secretly hoped for it haha. So he send me back to my doorstep and took a cab back. I truly, deeply appreciate it... :)
This little gesture touches my heart.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
alighting at the wrong station
I did the stupiest, brainless thing today. I alighted at Bugis Mrt when i am supposed to be alighting at Lavender Mrt for work. (which is nearer) When I realized, its too late and the train doors have closed. So what is the next best plan when the next train is too long a wait for me to arrive to work? I walked from Bugis to my workplace lo. I walked very, very fast in my heels. I can't even remember the last time I give my legs such a good workout haha. Still cooling down phew.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
free tissues
Yesterday while I was eating lunch at Army market, the old lady selling tissues came over and handed me 3 packets of tissues. Thinking she was asking me to buy, I forked out the money. But turns out she was giving it to me free of charge as a gesture of thanks for an ang pow that I have given to her during Chinese New Year. It kinda lighted up my lunch hour, but it's sad because we can only do so much..random acts of kindness can't deny the fact she has no family of her own.
Chinese New Year is a period where people with familes look forward to getting together with relatives and families, but for some they have none.
Chinese New Year is a period where people with familes look forward to getting together with relatives and families, but for some they have none.
another colleague leaving
My colleage who came in the same day as me has resigned. Since I started work in this company, she is already the 4th person to leave my department. It's an upsetting piece of news, I feel like I am being left alone.
Monday, February 23, 2009
we can predict the weather
When I wanted to go for cycling at West Coast Park, I should have checked the weather forecast.
Now, why didn't I think of that?
Better luck next time.
Now, why didn't I think of that?
Better luck next time.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
How i spent my sunday
Today was supposed to be the start of our exercise regime, a 2-hr cycle at West Coast Park. And halfway through the journey to West Coast Park, it started raining! So it turned out instead to be just a day of walking around, at first to West Coast Plaza(which is really small but full of eating places), then to Jurong Point and finally to Chua Chu Kang Lot One. We caught the movie "he is just not that into you". The movie itself was ok, but I felt it was kind of draggy. Or maybe it's just that the cinema seats was really uncomfortable. After the show, we swear never to watch a movie there again. We are planning to hit the gym at his place this wed, hopefully there is enough energy.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
After A While
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
In stead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn...
With every good bye you learn.
~Veronica Shoffstall 1971~
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
In stead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn...
With every good bye you learn.
~Veronica Shoffstall 1971~
A touching story
I was then an only child who had everything I could ever want. But even a pretty, spoiled and rich kid could get lonely once in a while so when Mom told me that she was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I imagined how wonderful you would be and how we'd always be together and how much you would look like me. So, when you were born, I looked at your tiny hands and feet and marveled at how beautiful you were.
We took you home and I showed you proudly to my friends. They would touch you and sometimes pinch you, but you never reacted. When you were five months old, some things began to bother Mom. You seemed so unmoving and numb, and your cry sounded odd --- almost like a kitten's. So we brought you to many doctors.
The thirteenth doctor who looked at you quietly said you have the "cry du chat" (pronounced Kree-do-sha) syndrome, "cry of the cat" in French.
When I asked what that meant, he looked at me with pity and softly said, "Your brother will never walk nor talk." The doctor told us that it is a condition that afflicts one in 50,000 babies, rendering victims severely retarded. Mom was shocked and I was furious. I thought it was unfair.
When we went home, Mom took you in her arms and cried. I looked at you and realized that word will get around that you're not normal. So to hold on to my popularity, I did the unthinkable ... I disowned you. Mom and Dad didn't know but I steeled myself not to love you as you grew. Mom and Dad showered you love and attention and that made me bitter. And as the years passed, that bitterness turned to anger, and then hate.
Mom never gave up on you. She knew she had to do it for your sake.
Everytime she put your toys down, you'd roll instead of crawl. I watched her heart break every time she took away your toys and strapped your tummy with foam so you couldn't roll. You struggle and you're cry in that pitiful way, the cry of the kitten. But she still didn't give up.
And then one day, you defied what all your doctors said -- you crawled.
When mom saw this, she knew you would eventually walk. So when you were still crawling at age four, she'd put you on the grass with only your diapers on knowing that you hate the feel of the grass on your skin.
Then she'd leave you there. I would sometimes watch from the windows and smile at your discomfort. You would crawl to the sidewalk and Mom would put you back. Again and again, Mom repeated this on the lawn. Until one day, Mom saw you pull yourself up and toddle off the grass as fast as your little legs could carry you.
Laughing and crying, she shouted for Dad and I to come. Dad hugged you crying openly.
I watched from my bedroom window this heartbreaking scene.
Over the years, Mom taught you to speak, read and write. From then on, I would sometime see you walk outside, smell the flowers, marvel at the birds, or just smile at no one. I began to see the beauty of the world through your eyes. It was then that I realized that you were my brother and no matter how much I tried to hate you, I couldn't, because I had grown to love you.
During the next few days, we again became acquainted with each other. I would buy you toys and give you all the love that a sister could ever give to her brother. And you would reward me by smiling and hugging me.
But I guess, you were never really meant for us. On your tenth birthday, you felt severe headaches. The doctor's diagnosis --leukemia. Mom gasped and Dad held her, while I fought hard to keep my tears from falling. At that moment, I loved you all the more. I couldn't even bear to leave your side. Then the doctors told us that your only hope is to have a bonemarrow transplant. You became the subject of a nationwide donor search. When at last we found the right match, you were too sick, and the doctor reluctantly ruled out the operations. Since then, you underwent chemotherapy and radiation.
Even at the end, you continued to pursue life. Just a month before you died, you made me draw up a list of things you wanted to do when you got out of the hospital. Two days after the list was completed, you asked the doctors to send you home. There, we ate ice cream and cake, run across the grass, flew kites, went fishing, took pictures of one another and let the balloons fly. I remember the last conversation that we had. You said that if you die, and if I need of help, I could send you a note to heaven by tying it on the string of any balloon and letting it fly. When you said this, I started crying. Then you hugged me. Then again, for the last time, you got sick.
That last night, you asked for water, a back rub, a cuddle. Finally, you went into seizure with tears streaming down your face. Later, at the hospital, you struggled to talk but the words wouldn't come. I know what you wanted to say. "Hear you," I whispered. And for the last time, I said, "I'll always love and I will never forget you. Don't be afraid. You'll soon be with God in heaven." Then, with my tears flowing freely, I watched the bravest boy I had ever known finally stop breathing. Dad, Mom and I cried until I felt as if there were no more tears left. Patrick was finally gone, leaving us behind.
From then on, you were my source of inspiration. You showed me how to love life and live to the fullest. With your simplicity and honesty, you showed me a world full of love and caring. And you made me realize that the most important thing in this life is to continue loving without asking why or how and without setting any limit.
Thank you, my little brother, for all these.
We took you home and I showed you proudly to my friends. They would touch you and sometimes pinch you, but you never reacted. When you were five months old, some things began to bother Mom. You seemed so unmoving and numb, and your cry sounded odd --- almost like a kitten's. So we brought you to many doctors.
The thirteenth doctor who looked at you quietly said you have the "cry du chat" (pronounced Kree-do-sha) syndrome, "cry of the cat" in French.
When I asked what that meant, he looked at me with pity and softly said, "Your brother will never walk nor talk." The doctor told us that it is a condition that afflicts one in 50,000 babies, rendering victims severely retarded. Mom was shocked and I was furious. I thought it was unfair.
When we went home, Mom took you in her arms and cried. I looked at you and realized that word will get around that you're not normal. So to hold on to my popularity, I did the unthinkable ... I disowned you. Mom and Dad didn't know but I steeled myself not to love you as you grew. Mom and Dad showered you love and attention and that made me bitter. And as the years passed, that bitterness turned to anger, and then hate.
Mom never gave up on you. She knew she had to do it for your sake.
Everytime she put your toys down, you'd roll instead of crawl. I watched her heart break every time she took away your toys and strapped your tummy with foam so you couldn't roll. You struggle and you're cry in that pitiful way, the cry of the kitten. But she still didn't give up.
And then one day, you defied what all your doctors said -- you crawled.
When mom saw this, she knew you would eventually walk. So when you were still crawling at age four, she'd put you on the grass with only your diapers on knowing that you hate the feel of the grass on your skin.
Then she'd leave you there. I would sometimes watch from the windows and smile at your discomfort. You would crawl to the sidewalk and Mom would put you back. Again and again, Mom repeated this on the lawn. Until one day, Mom saw you pull yourself up and toddle off the grass as fast as your little legs could carry you.
Laughing and crying, she shouted for Dad and I to come. Dad hugged you crying openly.
I watched from my bedroom window this heartbreaking scene.
Over the years, Mom taught you to speak, read and write. From then on, I would sometime see you walk outside, smell the flowers, marvel at the birds, or just smile at no one. I began to see the beauty of the world through your eyes. It was then that I realized that you were my brother and no matter how much I tried to hate you, I couldn't, because I had grown to love you.
During the next few days, we again became acquainted with each other. I would buy you toys and give you all the love that a sister could ever give to her brother. And you would reward me by smiling and hugging me.
But I guess, you were never really meant for us. On your tenth birthday, you felt severe headaches. The doctor's diagnosis --leukemia. Mom gasped and Dad held her, while I fought hard to keep my tears from falling. At that moment, I loved you all the more. I couldn't even bear to leave your side. Then the doctors told us that your only hope is to have a bonemarrow transplant. You became the subject of a nationwide donor search. When at last we found the right match, you were too sick, and the doctor reluctantly ruled out the operations. Since then, you underwent chemotherapy and radiation.
Even at the end, you continued to pursue life. Just a month before you died, you made me draw up a list of things you wanted to do when you got out of the hospital. Two days after the list was completed, you asked the doctors to send you home. There, we ate ice cream and cake, run across the grass, flew kites, went fishing, took pictures of one another and let the balloons fly. I remember the last conversation that we had. You said that if you die, and if I need of help, I could send you a note to heaven by tying it on the string of any balloon and letting it fly. When you said this, I started crying. Then you hugged me. Then again, for the last time, you got sick.
That last night, you asked for water, a back rub, a cuddle. Finally, you went into seizure with tears streaming down your face. Later, at the hospital, you struggled to talk but the words wouldn't come. I know what you wanted to say. "Hear you," I whispered. And for the last time, I said, "I'll always love and I will never forget you. Don't be afraid. You'll soon be with God in heaven." Then, with my tears flowing freely, I watched the bravest boy I had ever known finally stop breathing. Dad, Mom and I cried until I felt as if there were no more tears left. Patrick was finally gone, leaving us behind.
From then on, you were my source of inspiration. You showed me how to love life and live to the fullest. With your simplicity and honesty, you showed me a world full of love and caring. And you made me realize that the most important thing in this life is to continue loving without asking why or how and without setting any limit.
Thank you, my little brother, for all these.
Acceptance
A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.
The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.
Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.
The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.
Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us.
What Goes Around Comes Around
He almost didn't see the old lady stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe. He looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill only fear can put in you.
He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But, he had to get dirty, and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then, she remembered Bryan.
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a one hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her one hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it?
With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard...
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe. He looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill only fear can put in you.
He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But, he had to get dirty, and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then, she remembered Bryan.
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a one hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her one hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it?
With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard...
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
Abortion
Month One
Mommy,
I am only 8 inches long,
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy,
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me,
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy?
I'm a girl!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I want you to always be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy,
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine,
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding in my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy, what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy,
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Mommy,
I am only 8 inches long,
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy,
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me,
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy?
I'm a girl!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I want you to always be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy,
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine,
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding in my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy, what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy,
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Friday, February 20, 2009
where did my nachos go?
This pic is courtesy of my bro, who took the packet of Nachos I bought to JB. AND he just can't resist showing me how much he enjoys it..so I am going to show it to everyone. :P
clearing emails away
I am trying to clear the emails in my hotmail acct. Have gotten countless comments from people who unwittingly looked at my inbox and exclaimed, "so many emails! do u ever clear ur inbox?"
The answer is no. My emails date as far back as 5 years ago. So I shall try to clear abit. From 12,000+ emails down to 11,000 emails today, I should be able to whittle down to the ones that I can keep by the end of this mth. That gives me something to do.
The answer is no. My emails date as far back as 5 years ago. So I shall try to clear abit. From 12,000+ emails down to 11,000 emails today, I should be able to whittle down to the ones that I can keep by the end of this mth. That gives me something to do.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
closure of ex-company
I just got to know yesterday from one of my ex-colleague Karen that the previous company I had worked for had closed down the day before Chinese New Year. What's worse, the pay for the staff pay was cut 50% in dec. Then Jan no pay...That's shocking..and then today I found out that not only did the local branch closed down, the china headquarters closed down as well. That's very sad. I hope the people working there are able to find a job. It's just...sad. (ya i know i keeo repeating) Seeing your ex-company come to this end. :(
sleepless
At this time of the nite, I am eating apples. This is as a last resort cos my mum tells me it helps in lessening my giddiness and nausea. After tossing and turning in bed uncomfortably for more than an hour plus, I had finally gotten up to search through the kitchen cabinet for some medication. Alas there wasn't any suitable ones. Apples are the next best thing, so my mum says. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
On Mc today
I am on MC today. Was considering last nite if I should go to work, but I decided not to in the end as I have cleared most of my stuff. Maybe because of a one day absence my sales will be abit affected and I will lag behind..but I think I have done well this month, I don't intend to aim for the sky and stress myself up.
Last nite before I left the office, I took some toilet paper from the office having used up my few packets of tissue. My running nose was bad and I had to constantly blow my nose.
Midway through the ride, the seat I was standing in front of got vacant and I was about to sit when this middle-aged guy a metre away deftly cut in front of me and sat on the empty seat. Surprise turned to exasperation when I noticed his black hair and his not-so-old face. In the end I stood all the way from Lavender to Admiralty clutching my disgustingly tattered wads of toilet-paper.
But I made sure I blew my nose loudly in front of him all the way..maybe some tiny pieces of toilet paper did flew down and landed on his lap, hopefully.
Last nite before I left the office, I took some toilet paper from the office having used up my few packets of tissue. My running nose was bad and I had to constantly blow my nose.
Midway through the ride, the seat I was standing in front of got vacant and I was about to sit when this middle-aged guy a metre away deftly cut in front of me and sat on the empty seat. Surprise turned to exasperation when I noticed his black hair and his not-so-old face. In the end I stood all the way from Lavender to Admiralty clutching my disgustingly tattered wads of toilet-paper.
But I made sure I blew my nose loudly in front of him all the way..maybe some tiny pieces of toilet paper did flew down and landed on his lap, hopefully.
Monday, February 16, 2009
the rain that came out of nowhere
I was drenched in the rain while walking to work this afternoon. The rain came without warning. One moment it was sunny and I was still thinking of getting an ice-cream from Mr Bean. Then just five mins later, it was raining cats and dogs. I had nowhere to hide as there was no shelter....I supposed I have to be grateful I wasn't holding a half eaten ice-cream in the rain...It would have looked rather stupid.
Feeling abit miserable though cos I ended up with a running nose, a cold and headache.
Feeling abit miserable though cos I ended up with a running nose, a cold and headache.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
random little piece
It's been a long week, and I am tired from all the long working hours. Thankfully he is there to keep me going on. I am lucky. I don't feel very good now though..I think I am a good person, but maybe I am just a bad person trying to make up for the wrongs I did. There is alot of guilt, and inside my mind is a can full of worms. I am just sorry for not being protective enough of the things that I cared about once before.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Chinese New Year
&*#%#$$...my com hang while i was doing this entry..rewriting again so have to shorten it.
As the usual, every year my family would head over to JB to eat the reunion dinner. For the past few years, we have been eating at this restaurant that had a stage performance during dinner. For entertainment so as to speak.
I think....I have had enough. I can vaguely rememember that last year we seem to have a lion dance perfomance last year. Which was fine because despite all the diang la chiang chiang performances, there is something that signifies the coming of Chinese New Year.
This year was bad..bad singing, bad outfits, bad performances. I hope we will shift to another place next year.
After the reunion dinner ended, we headed to my aunt's place. We were outside the house looking at the fireworks when a cockroach flew past and hit my leg. Imagine that, those who know me shd know I am terrified of cockroaches. Anyway I screamed and as it landed on the ground, my ten-year old cousin Nicole stepped on it and that's it. bye bye cockroach.
She then started telling me off for crushing her wrist so tightly that it had left a mark. What to do? I was terrified ma, I din even realised I was grabbing on to her.
Then my 9-year old cousin Natalie took up the dead cockroach by it's feelers and proceeded to show it to me.
Natalie: See, YuanQi Jie Jie!
Me: AHHHH!!!! Don't come near me!
Aunt: Natalie, go wash your hands, the cockroach is dirty.
Natalie: orh. (drop the cockroach)
I am amazed at how how brave my cousins are.
Since I have been asked so many times why I am terrified of cockroaches, I shall start from the beginning. Once upon a time when I was pretty young, I do remembered chasing cockroaches that were scuttling around the floor and trying to whack them with a rolled-up newspaper. Think I was probably imitating my mum, and you know how kids have no idea of fear.
So anyway, there was one night I was brushing my teeth in the second floor bathroom of my house when I felt something crawling up my thigh. So I looked down and this cockroach was right there looking up at me. I closed my eyes tightly and screamed. I didn't even attempt to move, just stood at the same spot screaming my lungs off.
The next thing I knew, my bro was shaking me by the shoulders(he had ran up from the first level). I looked down and the cockroach was gone. I think I scared it away. (surprise!~) But if my memory doesn't fail me, that was the day I started being terrified of cockroaches, dead or alive. Believe me, a cockroach making it's way leisurely up your leg without asking for permission is something that changes your life in a bad way.
Okie, back to my topic. After midnight, as per the common practice, they started gambling poker. Being a non-gambler, I retired early to my bro's place which was a stone's throw away. (cos if u really throw a stone from my aunt's place, it would most likely hit my bro's front gate.)
The next day was spent at JB walking around the shopping centres and waiting for my brother to knock off work so we can have dinner together. I pushed the boundaries of bad fashion by roaming around in a big yellow tee that I loaned from brother, lime-green 3-quarters that my sis wore last nite to sleep, my pair of hot pink flats and a deep red bag. In case you think its out of my free-will, the truth was I actually forgotten to bring enough clothes which is why I was reduced to such a shocking state.
But hey, at least its bright enough! :)
2nd day of Chinese New Year was spent going to his place to bai nian, followed by my place, and lastly to my auntie's house. It's a rather eventful day and time well spent with loads of chit-chat. After that, I haven't been to any place to bai nian since then...sigh. No time cos my family is always out these few days.
And next week my work will be keeping me very very busy. I will be at National JC for these two weeks and tomorrow I have to be there at 6.30am and leave office at 9.30pm. And the rest of the week will be similar hours. Just the thought of it makes me very, very blue. It's supposed to be a month where we are supposed to earn more, but c'mon, if I was paid OT, I'll probably bring back the same amount. Sickening.
As the usual, every year my family would head over to JB to eat the reunion dinner. For the past few years, we have been eating at this restaurant that had a stage performance during dinner. For entertainment so as to speak.
I think....I have had enough. I can vaguely rememember that last year we seem to have a lion dance perfomance last year. Which was fine because despite all the diang la chiang chiang performances, there is something that signifies the coming of Chinese New Year.
This year was bad..bad singing, bad outfits, bad performances. I hope we will shift to another place next year.
After the reunion dinner ended, we headed to my aunt's place. We were outside the house looking at the fireworks when a cockroach flew past and hit my leg. Imagine that, those who know me shd know I am terrified of cockroaches. Anyway I screamed and as it landed on the ground, my ten-year old cousin Nicole stepped on it and that's it. bye bye cockroach.
She then started telling me off for crushing her wrist so tightly that it had left a mark. What to do? I was terrified ma, I din even realised I was grabbing on to her.
Then my 9-year old cousin Natalie took up the dead cockroach by it's feelers and proceeded to show it to me.
Natalie: See, YuanQi Jie Jie!
Me: AHHHH!!!! Don't come near me!
Aunt: Natalie, go wash your hands, the cockroach is dirty.
Natalie: orh. (drop the cockroach)
I am amazed at how how brave my cousins are.
Since I have been asked so many times why I am terrified of cockroaches, I shall start from the beginning. Once upon a time when I was pretty young, I do remembered chasing cockroaches that were scuttling around the floor and trying to whack them with a rolled-up newspaper. Think I was probably imitating my mum, and you know how kids have no idea of fear.
So anyway, there was one night I was brushing my teeth in the second floor bathroom of my house when I felt something crawling up my thigh. So I looked down and this cockroach was right there looking up at me. I closed my eyes tightly and screamed. I didn't even attempt to move, just stood at the same spot screaming my lungs off.
The next thing I knew, my bro was shaking me by the shoulders(he had ran up from the first level). I looked down and the cockroach was gone. I think I scared it away. (surprise!~) But if my memory doesn't fail me, that was the day I started being terrified of cockroaches, dead or alive. Believe me, a cockroach making it's way leisurely up your leg without asking for permission is something that changes your life in a bad way.
Okie, back to my topic. After midnight, as per the common practice, they started gambling poker. Being a non-gambler, I retired early to my bro's place which was a stone's throw away. (cos if u really throw a stone from my aunt's place, it would most likely hit my bro's front gate.)
The next day was spent at JB walking around the shopping centres and waiting for my brother to knock off work so we can have dinner together. I pushed the boundaries of bad fashion by roaming around in a big yellow tee that I loaned from brother, lime-green 3-quarters that my sis wore last nite to sleep, my pair of hot pink flats and a deep red bag. In case you think its out of my free-will, the truth was I actually forgotten to bring enough clothes which is why I was reduced to such a shocking state.
But hey, at least its bright enough! :)
2nd day of Chinese New Year was spent going to his place to bai nian, followed by my place, and lastly to my auntie's house. It's a rather eventful day and time well spent with loads of chit-chat. After that, I haven't been to any place to bai nian since then...sigh. No time cos my family is always out these few days.
And next week my work will be keeping me very very busy. I will be at National JC for these two weeks and tomorrow I have to be there at 6.30am and leave office at 9.30pm. And the rest of the week will be similar hours. Just the thought of it makes me very, very blue. It's supposed to be a month where we are supposed to earn more, but c'mon, if I was paid OT, I'll probably bring back the same amount. Sickening.
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